Take me, for example. I'm vain as hell (I'd walk into a brick wall if I saw my reflection somewhere), and I've been asked to do a photo shoot, but as soon as I know I have to do that, I don't exercise and I start to eat! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it pressure that does this to our minds? Or is it just myself? I will never understand this, and I have no idea where motivation comes from? I'm sitting at work, and I'm turning into a kid trying to annoy my workmates to feel alive. Are playful moods just a shield to hide behind because we don't want to face the reality of what's actually happening?
I love being a kid still – my Aunty Margaret, mad woman that she is, sat me down as a kid, and said to me that I was growing up too fast, and that I should grab the moments of my youth with my hands, because one day, it will be gone. My childish personality reminds me that I'm still Mummy and Daddy's boy, that my friends are still around next to me, that I'm not alone. I could find the humour in anything, laughing is still easy, meeting people isn't hard, problems can be solved and forgotten, animals are still cute and fluffy, parents are still there to hug and ask for money, and your personal time is to daydream, and you can be whoever you want to be.
Yes, I guess we all protect ourselves mentally one way or the other, but then again, our own shields can work against us. Reality kicks in, and I guess coping with it is more than a shield can protect you from.
Maybe one day I'll learn the motivation I need, to even sit here and write every day for you all, for myself.
Maybe one day I'll learn the motivation I need, to even sit here and write everyday for you all, for myself.